No identity cirsis here!

Vir, who are you?
Vir: Boy

Vir, what's your mom's name:
Vir: Mani

Where is Vir?
Vir: points carefully to his tummy. He finally knows who he is!!!! And even that he's not a girl but a boooooy!

That gulping sound you hear...? That's me...swallowing my words. My many, many words about how children need to be taught how to behave in public, how it's not their fault that they're badly behaved and spoilt but their parents', how parents should deal with tantrums and never give in to them, how no should mean no, and of course, how well brought up and well behaved I always remember being under my mom's ever watchful disciplinarian eye. Yup...all those words have now been painfully swallowed.

Because my own son, despite all my views on parenting and my attempts to apply these simple principles (no means no, kids must do as they're told, parents must demonstrate appropriate behavior for kids to emulate, blah blah) basically doesn't care. He goes right ahead and does what he wants where he wants to do it...from flinging himself on the floor and screaming, producing gallons of fake tears on hearing the word "no," flinging anything that comes his way, flailing his arms every which way hoping to hit something in his temper, and producing unbelievable amounts of pure noise...he does it all. All this while Vijay and I oscillate between trying to at least look like we're in control while firmly repeating the word "no" as if it's suddenly going to hit home to the little brat we have produced, trying gentle explanations about the folly of his ways, pleading with our one and a half year old to stop and calm down and really just take a break, or just laughing hysterically as we watch this less than 2-footer who can bring us to this point where we want to utter, loudly, every 4 letter word our parents hope we don't use, but just can't because guess what...the 2-footer must learn appropriate behavior.

There's a lesson here somewhere that someone is trying to teach us...we're just having trouble hearing it over all the noise.

Showoff!

One of Vijay's old school friends spent the evening with us today. Vir has never met him before but what a performance he put up for him! It was amazing...he took an instant liking to this guy and spent the evening showing off blatantly. He was laughing and chattering like I've never seen him before, bringing out all his toys for uncle to play with, and giving him some of his best smiles. At one point he grabbed Vijay's friend's finger, waved bye to both of us, and made off downstairs for a walk with his new best friend! I was half tempted to send him off to Guwahati with this angel as a surprise present for the gramps back home...I don't think Vir would have complained at all:-).

It's hilarious to see this super social side of my little monkey and interesting how some connections are made so quickly despite vast differences in age and zero familiarity. When we went downstairs to see off our guest, Vir couldn't believe he wasn't going to get in the car and go with him. I think they will be exchanging regular email from now on!

It's all in the swing

Vir has learnt to hit the ball with a plastic bat that I got him (that he can't use anymore after he threw it off the balcony into the locked house below ours). It's such a funny sight...he holds the bat with both hands as correctly as he can, just like nana taught him, and sways and swings it in every direction till he hits the large ball sitting in front of him. As soon as he manages to touch the ball with the bat, he dramatically flings the bat away, looks up in glee and claps loudly for himself. Of course, all spectators have to follow suit.

If he grows up to be a big cricketer, I'll really enjoy telling him this story! And if he's terrible at cricket, we'll know it was because he had a hard time holding on to the bat.

Thanks, kiddo.

I went to the loo this morning and discovered a golf ball in the toilet.

Hmmm...now who could possibly have done this? I really have to get Vijay to stop practicing his short game in the bathroom.

Update

There's just so much that Vir has been upto since I last posted that I regret being lazy about writing earlier! Much has happened since I last wrote - the biggest thing being that we left him for 5 days and went off for a holiday. My parents came over to our place to look after him while we were away. I didn't want to send him to Dun instead since I wanted to minimize the number of changes he had to deal with all at once. I was absolutely terrified of what his reaction might be since he has been super clingy towards me over the last month or so. The guilt of going away to have fun leaving him looking for us and wondering where we were and whether we would ever come back and not being able to articulate any of this almost made me cancel the holiday that I thought I had planned on a whim anyway. In the end, the promise of 3 blissful days on an island punctuated by lazy swims, long naps by the beach, and lots of margaritas for once in my life won over, and with all the guilt, we went ahead anyway. I would have hated myself for this decision if he hadn't been okay while we were away, but Vir has thankfully saved me that trouble. He was absolutely wonderful...missed us a little perhaps but didn't really make a big deal of it. It would have come in the way of all the fun he was having with his nana and nani, who spoiled him in every way possible. He probably didn't have time to miss us or worry when he was basking in their attention 24 hours a day. He had them both at his beck and call and beck and call he did! Nana was playing ball with him at all hours of day and sometimes night, taking him out for a daily cup of ice cream, while nani was quite willingly sacrificing her lipsticks and all the knick knacks in her purse the hundred times a day that he wanted to empty it out! I'm so thankful that he was such an angel (you'll know what a favor this was to us when you grow up and have kids of your own, Vir) and more than that, that we have parents who are willing to do this for us.

The most obvious changes in Vir these days are in the way that he communicates. For one, he understands pretty much everything you tell him now. It doesn't even have to be baby sentences. You can just tell him to do something like "pick up your toys and but them in that basket," or "bring your sandals," or "go stand by the door because we're going out soon" and he just gets it and does it. I'm hoping it's only a short way from here to "change your diaper, take a bath, wear your clothes, and clean your room while I read a magazine." Or "fix yourself a sandwich and please make me some cold coffee while you're at it!" Of course, he only does things he wants to do...he has a little system that only he knows the details of according to which these decisions of what to obey and what not to are made. An instruction like "don't put your finger in the switch," or "don't climb on the side table," or "don't throw all your expensive toys off the balcony" are sifted out immediately in the "don't worry, she's not serious about this" bucket. But something like "let's go to the kitchen to get a marshmallow for you to eat" is moved to high priority obedience immediately. I guess it's not a complicated system. Fun things - yes. No fun things - no.

He's also started talking a lot more. He can always tell us what he wants now. He's not using full words yet - mostly only the first syllable of everything. Luckily, everything in his life seems to fit into four letters of the albhabet - b, p, j, and m. So there's baw for ball, ba for biscuit, ba again for "bahar" (out), bata for bat, baw for dog/Baggdu (our dog)/ any other animal, pa for "pani" (water), po for potty (which is a sad story for another day), ja for jam, which he needs with pretty much anything he eats, ja/je for random things he needs to point to in the day, and mama for everything else that he can possibly need to say. Who needs a complicated albhabet with 26 letters, when 4 will do just fine!

I'm constantly amazed at how quickly he picks up things and incorporates them into his world...adding bit by bit to his little bank of knowledge and delighting us with his comical displays of new wisdom! There's something new everyday, and I don't know what else I'd rather be doing than watching this miracle at work.